1. I was watching TV on the sofa, my wife sat on my lap wrapped in a bath towel, and said in a coquettish manner: "Master, you want a little girl...?" Uncle, I don’t have any money today!” Wife: “What’s not money, just let the little girl feel good, and make up an IOU afterwards..!” I am dizzy~~~This matter.?

2. I held up my wife’s chin with one hand, and said teasingly: "Girl, come, let me sing a song to the uncle...!" My wife patted my hand: "Guest, please respect me Something, little girl, I only sell my body but not art!" Surprised~~~~~~ I hit the gun.

3. After I took a shower, I lay on the bed and read a book. My wife came out of the bathroom and pressed me down with a hungry tiger. She said grimly: "Hey, my little brother looks good, and the little girl today I will try something new!" I fought to the death. . When my wife saw that I couldn’t do it, she turned softly and said: "Master, you have been a young girl, right?" I said, "Give me a reason first!" The wife thief rolled her eyes: "The little girl was just released from prison. , I haven’t used meat for several years! "My mom~~~~~~ This is a good reason, there is no reason to fail!

4. My wife asked me: "You men always talk about women Mensao. What does Mensao mean?" I said: "Mensao means dignified appearance and fiery heart!" My wife asked, "Do you think I count?" "I pretended to look at her carefully, and then shook my head: "You don't count!" My wife nodded, "I think so, I should belong to Mingsao." I snickered in my heart: "Accurate but not comprehensive!" My wife wondered. "What's that?" I replied triumphantly: "You belong to Quansao!" Khan~~~ I can't stand this fight.!

5. I went to KTV with the client one night and went home very late. I just came home and thought my wife was asleep, so I tiptoed to the bathroom to take a shower. As soon as I took off my clothes, my wife suddenly appeared and shouted sharply: "Do you want to destroy the evidence?" I was taken aback, and hurriedly said, "No, I have been in the warehouse before I go out!" The wife smirked twice. , Reached out and touched my jj: "Well, the gun hasn't been lost yet, but I want to check whether the bullets are too few!" Hey~~~~ Is there a way to check? She didn't sleep for half the night just for this..?

6. My wife likes all beautiful things, including handsome guys and beautiful women. The biggest pleasure of shopping with my wife is that she will collect me handsome guys and beautiful girls everywhere for viewing. We were tired from shopping, and we sat in front of the Starbucks window to admire the beauty of Sichuan. Wife admired and asked me stupidly: "Who do you think so many beauties sleep with at night?" I stared at her in surprise and replied, "Pervert!" My wife was also surprised: " Ah? Wouldn't it be cheap for those perverts?" I couldn't laugh or cry, and flicked her head with my finger: "Cheap! What do you think you are thinking about all day? Sorghum Hanako with my head full! I said you are. Pervert!" "Oh!" The wife nodded her head seemingly, and said something that made my liver hurt: "Then I sleep with them, who do you sleep with?" Speechless~~~~~~~~~ I fell You want to sleep with them too, so you have to abandon me?

7. Once I made a small fortune, and returned home and threw the envelope at his wife: "Naughty, you did a good job last month. This is a tip from the uncle!" The wife looked at the money and held it open. The envelope was squeezed, put my arms around me, "Have a kiss", and said in a charming manner: "Thank you, uncle, it's the duty of a little girl to take care of a good uncle. Uncle you often come!" I nodded stupidly: "Oh, It must be!" It's a pair of dewy mandarin ducks!

8. Wife has the problem of hiccups after breathing in the cool breeze. One evening after work, I entered the house with a hiccup. I asked with concern: "Did you drink the wind again?" The wife pretended to sigh sadly: "What if you don't drink the wind? You haven't been pampered for several days. The little girl is gone, and the little girl has no income, so I have to drink the northwest wind!" Then I remembered that I hadn't been in love with my wife for two or three days, so I stepped forward and got upset. The wife was quite cooperative at the beginning, but stopped abruptly at the critical moment: "Yes, I'll continue to drink!" I was a little confused: "Why?" The wife smiled: "The old friend hasn't left yet. Convenient!" I said~~~~~~ Why is she so behaved these days!

9. On a Saturday, my wife has a normal rest, and I have to work overtime. In the morning, this guy stalked me for a while, and then went on to sleep contentedly, but I was going to the company with exhaustion. I greeted her and was about to get out of the bedroom, and my wife said after I was there, "Master, come tomorrow!" I nodded, "Come on!" "Huh?" Thanks to my quick response, "How dare you be Minger?" Come on! Come on tonight!" "It's almost the same! Go, the little girl continues to sleep peacefully!" Huh~~~~~~~~ The companion wife is like a companion tiger, it’s really not good to respond slowly!

10. My wife and I were in love at university. At that time, girls were allowed to enter the boys’ dormitory, but boys were not allowed to enter the girls’ dormitory. One late autumn night, I annoyed my wife, who left me and returned to the dormitory. At that time, there was no cell phone, and my wife lived on the third floor, so I called downstairs to apologize to her. After shouting for a long time, there was no effect, but more and more people watched. Seeing that the lights were turned off, my wife asked her roommate to throw her quilt down from the window (I gave the quilt, I know). When I saw that the situation was not good, I hurriedly shouted: "Trown down the pillow again!" Without knowing the following, (Semeiren No. XNUMX Cantonese friends who come to make friends are not rejected) accompanied by laughter from the whole building. The hero didn't suffer from the immediate loss, so I hurried back to the dormitory and was hugged by Qiu under her quilt. Before I woke up the next morning, my wife stood in front of me and squashed the quilt and flattened me: "You have no conscience! You made this girl so cold and runny nose, you are quite at ease!" Family~~~~~~ You think I want to!

11. One winter was extremely cold. One weekend my wife and I went to the park to play. I saw many people skating on the ice of the lake, so I invited my wife to go skating with me. My wife didn't dare. In order to prove the firmness of the ice, I took the lead to play around on the ice, seeing my wife's heart tickling, and finally got the idea to try. I picked her up from the center of the lake to the shore. When I was about one meter away from the shore, I jumped up in order to prove that there was no danger. As a result, I fell into the ice cave with only a "crack" sound. Fortunately, the water on the shore was shallow, and the water only flooded my waist. My wife screamed in fright and almost cried. It took me a lot of effort to get out of the mud. After making sure that I was okay, my wife asked me seriously, "Is my little brother frozen?" I resisted the cold and nodded vigorously: " It's okay, the little thing belongs to a polar bear!" Hiss~~~~~~ I feel cold when I think about it!

12. One afternoon, when I was at work, I suddenly received a call from my wife and looked very anxious: "Husband, come here, I hit someone, in the Wal-Mart parking lot!" I was really taken aback and left my work and rushed for it. on site. My wife was entangled with a half-year-old woman in her forties. The front bumper of the "golf" of the half-old woman was hit by a wife's car. The rear bumper of the wife's car was also slightly damaged. I paid the half-old woman XNUMX. For bucks, I said a good thing, the old woman was very happy to be held up by me, and drove away happily. I asked my wife, "Where did you hit the person? Isn't it serious?" His wife Lai Xihe said, "When I was reversing, I ran into a handsome guy who accidentally hit the car behind the house. I didn't know what to do. How much will I pay to others? For fear of being deceived, I have to call you here! "God save me!" ~~~~~~ This is also called hitting people? When can your lecherous problem be corrected?

13. My wife has always been particularly interested in my small nipples, and often twists them to sleep at night. Once, my wife asked me: "You said that men don't breastfeed, so what's the use of these two little things?" I thought for a long time and didn't come up with a reason. My wife smirked at me, and I said nonsense: "Is it just for a pervert like you?" My wife shook her head: "No!" I asked, "What is that?" My wife said surprisingly: "I think it's the case. To the decoration role!" "What?" This unconventional statement surprised me. "You think, men and women are the same. Women do not feed their children before breasts are used for exterior decoration, and this thing for men is for interior decoration. If these two things are not long, there will be no such thing on the chest without clothes. How do you embellish it? Does it look good?" Oh~~~~~~~ My wife didn’t do the interior decoration design.

14. One night I was playing a game in front of the computer, and my wife was behind me playing with her. I didn’t know her to play with her. I would close the screen for a while and pull out the mouse interface. When I was overwhelmed, I secretly Withdraw the chair behind me. At this time, the boiling water in the kitchen boiled, and my wife jumped around to pour the boiling water. I was so happy that I was free from this scourge. I didn’t know how happy I was, I sat on the floor with a thump, and almost at the same time, I heard the kitchen wife scream, I thought he was scalded by boiling water, and I didn’t care about the pain in my ass. Jumping up and rushing into the kitchen, my wife was leaning on the kitchen door and laughing, making me so angry. My wife patted me on the shoulder: "Don't be angry, this is an exam question, see if I am heavier than yourself in your heart. I am honored to tell you that you passed the test!" Bad~~~~~~~ ~What else can I say, it is better to make a good reputation than to take a little bit of harm to yourself!

15. My wife and I both have the habit of sleeping late on weekends. Once we had tossed for half the night the night before, and I opened my eyes and felt like I had been asleep for several days. I woke up the piggy-sleeping wife who was wrapped around me: "Look at my watch, what time is it?" Whirling out of the watch from under the pillow, I looked at it: "What's the trouble? It's just seven o'clock, let's sleep with you!" I rubbed my stomach: "Why do I feel so hungry? I want to get some food." I heard it with enthusiasm: "Why don't we continue (love)! Didn't you read other people's text messages saying that this kind of thing can be used as both a meal and a drink? Let's try it, dare you?" I still refused to accept this provocation, so I picked up the knife and fought again. Just after the matter was over, my mother called and talked about the daily routine, and asked me whether I had eaten a little too late at noon. Only then did I know that my wife, the pig head, looked down at the watch, and half past XNUMX was regarded as seven. I hung up the phone and was looking for my wife to settle accounts. My wife made a look of worship: "My husband, you are so brave. This time we have been doing it for more than six hours!" Hematemesis~~~~~~ In that way, I can't really come to death!

16. When I was in college, I watched a movie with my wife at night. Because I played all-night poker with my dorm buddies the night before, I was really sleepy when I saw the second half of the movie. I got my wife's permission and squinted for a while. I don't know how long it took, a girl (sitting on the side of her wife) got up and went out. The wife gave me a light stabbing. I thought the movie was over and stood up and took the girl's hand and walked out. The girl was startled, her hand flicked desperately, and the more she flicked, the tighter I gripped, and she was still murmured: What did people pretend to be so serious? In the end, the girl was anxious, so she just sat down on my seat and couldn't leave. As soon as I turned my head, I saw my wife grinning fiercely, and the boyfriend of the girl next to me (also a student) was also glaring. I hurried to accompany the smiley face: "Man, your girlfriend's hands are really soft, I said Why is something wrong! You are so blessed! "We are solved~~~~~~~~ My wife almost beat me to death after I got out of the theater!

17. For a while, cross-stitching became popular, and my wife joined the army of women embroidering women. At night, when I entered the house, I would not leave the door to specialize in weaving and embroidery, making myself like a weaver. That's great. After dinner, I became quiet, and I could go online and play games without interference. But the good times didn't last long. My wife said that it was boring to embroider by myself, and I was reluctant to pull me into the team, but there was nothing I could do. Fortunately, we are not born with embroidered materials. We were fired by my wife after half a night. The comment we got was: "Go and go, hands are as hard as a little brother, where are you cool?" ~~~ It turns out that men are not good at everything!

18. I bought the car before I got married, and I went through all the formalities very hard, and I was so tired that I went back and lay back on my bed to catch my breath. The wife rushed over: "You can't hold it anymore? Then will you be more tired when we get married and go through the formalities in the future?" I asked, "What does buying a car have to do with marrying a wife?" He said, "Of course it does matter! To buy a car, you need to go through formalities, and to marry a wife to register; to buy a car, you need to refuel, and your wife needs to eat; when you buy a car, you need maintenance, and your wife needs beauty..." I said, "Then we won’t register. That’s it!" His wife stared: "If you keep trying to drive, what money will the car dealer make! (Semeiren No. XNUMX will not refuse to make friends)" I thought for a while This is the same reason, so I said to her: "I know the biggest difference between buying a car and marrying a wife!" "What?" "Buying a car can be covered by third party liability insurance, but marrying a wife will not work. In case you someday I ran with which little white face, who should I pay?" The wife blinked, she was speechless. It's not easy~~~~~~~ After so many years, she finally found no reason to argue with me!

19. On the night of the engagement, my wife was removing her makeup, and I sillyly hugged my wife from behind: "Little lady, this time the grandpa can be regarded as redeemed for you, and you will really be the grandpa's person in the future!" Asked: "What do you mean?" I explained: "Father-in-law and mother-in-law used to be your guardian, but now they are handed over to me. Should I ransom you for this disagreement?" The wife turned her face: "I'm! You kid earns a bargain and still behaves well, tells you to treat me better in the future, or I will return to my old career with this girl!" Hey~~~~~ She can say this too!

20. My wife is a person who loves me but doesn't pester me. She often advises me not to lose communication with the outside world because of her infatuation with his wife. But there is a premise that I should be on call for my wife's call. This makes me very happy. Moving. Once I was having a dinner with the unit at the same time, and my wife sent me a text message after nine o'clock. At that time, I just changed to a new phone, and a female colleague was playing with it in her hand and opened the text message without paying attention. She blushed immediately, lowered her head and put her phone aside, and after three or four minutes, she told me: "It seems that there is a text message from you." I took it over and saw that it said: "Isn't it fun? I miss you and my little brother at home! "My embarrassment~~~~ For a long time, I always feel weird when I see that female colleague!

21. After taking a shower, my wife lay on the sofa with her nightdress, holding a bunch of popcorn while eating and watching TV leisurely. Poor me, holding one of her little feet and cutting her nails. I joked: "Look at you, just like a landlord old fortune, you will bully our poor peasants and lower middle peasants." My wife smirked at me, and rubbed my crotch restlessly with her other foot. I asked, "What are you doing?" The wife replied, "What's wrong? You don't accept that the landlord's old wealthy girl molested you?" I said, "Don't mess around, I have a wife!" The wife said with a smug smile: "It's pretty much the same, don't forget your sorrow!" Hmph~~~~~ I'm not stupid to make my wife happy!

22. My wife has a nickname, Arlene, who works as a make-up artist in the photo studio. She is a beautiful woman and is very good at dressing up. His wife is as good as a person. Arlene is longer and shorter than Arlene, which makes me sometimes Jealous. In particular, Arlene’s theory about dressing is regarded as Chairman Mao’s quotations by his wife, and no one is allowed to raise objections. One time my wife was talking about Arlene lifelessly in front of me, and I said angrily: "I think you should just spend time with Arlene! Arlene is about to become my rival in love!" The wife even dragged: "You think I don't want to I’ve been with Arlene. If I were a man, I would be the first to marry Arlene! You really don’t want to irritate me, I will sell our house to be a transgender, and see what you do!" I froze for a long time. Blink: "Forget it, let Arlene change that way, so that we can share you and save me from being alone!" Haha~~~~~ This is the best of both worlds!