Source: Elite said

ID: Elitestalk

"Your children are not actually your children. They are the children born of life's desire for itself."

—— Gibran

Recently, a Chinese-style animated short film went viral all over the Internet.

It is "Baby Baobao" directed by Shi Zhiyu, the first Chinese female director in Pixar history. Although it is produced in the United States, Chinese elements such as "Fu", blue and white porcelain, and Tai Chi can be seen everywhere in the film, which makes people feel more cordial. In just eight minutes, it also tellsA topic that Chinese cannot be more familiar with-parent-child relationship.

Pixar's latest Chinese style animation short film "Babaobao" in 2018

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A Chinese woman living in Chinatown found that the little bun she had made was alive and became a little boy.

The picture comes from the Pixar animated short film "Baby Baby"

Little bun's soft and cute appearance struck her heart in an instant, and she lovingly bathed, dressed and fed the little bun, as if caring for a child, carefully guarding her growth.

The picture comes from the Pixar animated short film "Baby Baby"

Time passed, the little bun slowly grew into a teenager who yearned for friends and eager to enter the world, andThe old mother was worried that Xiao Baozi would bump into each other after going out alone, so she refused his request.

Between the "mother and son", there was a gap for the first time.

The picture comes from the Pixar animated short film "Baby Baby"

But the mother's worries and concerns can never stop the child's pace.

Little Bun left, and when she came back again, she brought back a blonde girlfriend, and the sparkling diamond ring in her hand seemed to declare "sovereignty" to the old mother.

The picture comes from the Pixar animated short film "Baby Baby"

Faced with the little bun who was about to move out with his girlfriend and completely left him, the old mother lost control.She grabbed the little bun and swallowed it into her stomach. Then he collapsed to the ground, crying loudly.

The picture comes from the Pixar animated short film "Baby Baby"

This fragment of "passionate crime" undoubtedly makes people take a breath. But apart from the terror, I only feel infinitely sad.

Isn't this the real Chinese-style parent-child relationship?Love and hate coexist, two generations tore and struggle until both lose. And the "cannibalism" in parent-child education is also being staged in countless families.

"Mum's Poison
I drink it for 39 years"
The core of the story of "Baby Baby" lies in the parents' over-protection of their children and the unwillingness to let go. They raise their children with love, but they may also swallow them in the name of love.

The plot where the mother swallows her children is also very reminiscent of the actor Zhu Yuchen and his mother.This relationship between mother and child is like a true portrayal of "Babaobao" and the old mother.

The picture comes from the Internet, the copyright belongs to the author

Speaking of Zhu Yuchen, many people's impressions of him may still remain in the sincere and loyal Huazi in the 2007 TV series Struggle.

But after "Struggle", Zhu Yuchen has been tepid. It is about to enter the year of no confusion, but still few people know.

AndWhat really made him "red" was the way his mother raised him, Just like the old mother who was meticulous to the little bun in "Baby Baobao", wishing to take care of the child forever.

The picture comes from the Internet, the copyright belongs to the author

Open the refrigerator of Zhu Yuchen's house, the semi-finished products for one person are arranged neatly, and you can enjoy them as long as they are heated slightly-this is Zhu Yuchen's mother who has prepared three daily meals for her son in advance.

She even hoped that her son would forget how to cook because he was "too tired".

The picture comes from the Internet, the copyright belongs to the author

Where Zhu Yuchen goes, Zhu’s mother’s small kitchen will open fire.Every day I get up at XNUMX o'clock in the morning to make pear juice for Zhu Yuchen. She has never stopped for decades, and she is also happy..

Correspondingly, she also made a request to her son: no matter what she was doing at the time, she had to come back and drink all the soups.

The picture comes from the Internet, the copyright belongs to the author

If the care in life can be described as selfless "maternal love", Zhu's intervention in the emotional life of her son may have a greater sense of oppression. She has made it clear thatI not only know every relationship of the child, but also will "interfere".

The picture comes from the Internet, the copyright belongs to the author

Because in the eyes of Mother Zhu, the future daughter-in-law must be like herself, be a "good wife and beloved mother", live for Zhu Yuchen wholeheartedly, and take good care of Zhu Yuchen as her own duty at all times.

The picture comes from the Internet, the copyright belongs to the author

I don’t know if it’s because of Zhu’s mother that Zhu Yuchen has only been rumored with Tang Wei and Song Dandan’s goddaughter Jiang Yan so far.Now he is neither in love nor married.

Zhu Yuchen is nearly forty years old, but he still hasn't made much progress in his acting career, probably because of his mother's overprotection. Because Zhu's mother even had to deal with the dramas her son received and the Weibo she posted every day, Zhu Yuchen had a slight objection, and she took a bitter posture: "Everything is for your good."

The picture comes from the Internet, the copyright belongs to the author

This kind of meticulous care and love has already turned into a continuous "poison" invisibly, eroding Zhu Yuchen's body and mind.

He became more and more dependent, more and more "obedient", more and more silent and weak,In the vicious circle of resistance and failure again and again, I finally chose to unconditionally obey the mother.

The picture comes from the Internet, the copyright belongs to the author

After all, it's his own mother, who is too stiff, so why bother?

Zhu Yuchen thought this way, but also fell into a long-lasting confusion that could not be dissipated. He is a bit sensitive and pessimistic under the camera. When he flushed and sang "Unfortunately Not You", he would cry silently,"Why, no one wants to stay with me?"

The picture comes from the Internet, the copyright belongs to the author

When parents love their children
Evolve into endless damage
Zhu Yuchen’s story makes people feel helpless and sad. He may be a typical example of being swallowed by the love of his parents, butHe is more self-digesting the pain than breaking out in a devastating way.

But for other children, the ending is very different.

The picture comes from the Internet, the copyright belongs to the author

At the beginning of this year, Peking University master Wang Meng pulled his black parents for 12 years and never returned home for the New Year. He wrote a XNUMXD prosecution of a long article. I believe everyone will still remember it.A proud son of heaven, but chose to break with his native family in such a decisive way.

Wang Meng’s extreme actions are not without reason. In the long article, he lists multiple crimes to accuse his parents of manipulation over the years—to take care of everything for him; everything must be done according to the wishes of his parents; there is no right to free choice; every move is even affected. Disguised surveillance... the "love" of his parents made him feel suffocated.

The picture comes from the Internet, the copyright belongs to the author

Unlike Zhu Yuchen, Wang Meng is determined to leave the family like a little bun in a cartoon.He completely cut off all contact with his parents, trying to make the final cut to the bondage of love.

Parents and children are supposed to be the closest people to each other, but their desire for control beyond their limits eventually leads to an irreparable tragedy.

The picture comes from the Internet, the copyright belongs to the author

In Wang Meng's case, he traded for freedom at the price of family affection, but in the case of "a good Chinese girl who killed her parents" that shocked both at home and abroad eight years ago, the price was living lives.

Chinese Canadian couples Pan Hanhui and He Bixia, like many typical Chinese parents, have high hopes for their daughter Jennifer.They strictly control their daughter's studies, social interactions and hobbies, Just to let children grow into their most satisfactory appearance.

The picture comes from the Internet, the copyright belongs to the author

Under the supervision and planning of her parents, Jennifer goes to school, attends cram school, learns piano and skating every day, and can only sleep until late at night, and is open throughout the year; however, makeup is not allowed, and he is not allowed to go out to play with classmates, let alone talk. in love.

Jennifer's parents imprisoned their daughter in an ideal track with unquestionable majesty. But the excessive care and protection have turned into a cage without knowing it, distorting the heart of the child.

The picture comes from the Internet, the copyright belongs to the author

In the strong control that could not resist, Jennifer slowly learned self-harm, disguise and lie, and finally hired murderers, wanting to exchange the death of his parents for the freedom he longed for.

The ending of this story is heartbreaking,Mother was killed, father was seriously injured, and Jennifer was eventually sanctioned by law.

The picture comes from the Internet, the copyright belongs to the author

Taiwanese actress Di Ying is also a mother who has a strong desire to control her children. She once proudly said in a variety show that her son loved her so much that he would sleep together every day until he had a physiological reaction in puberty, and the mother and son should separate.

Before the age of 18, she did not allow her son to act alone.You can’t even go to the supermarket downstairs or have your own mobile phone. Di Ying stubbornly believes that this is protecting the child.

The picture comes from the Internet, the copyright belongs to the author

She strictly controls the child's diet and spends seven hours a day staring at him eating, eating vegetables, eating fruits, and drinking soup. Regardless of whether the child can eat it or not, he has to eat the prescribed food every day.

The picture comes from the Internet, the copyright belongs to the author

After giving birth, her life focused entirely on her son, and she even turned away the notice, and revolved around her son.

In addition to becoming less and less concerned about career, even friends are gradually alienating. Di Ying once said frankly in variety shows--"I have no friends, my heart is only for my son. "

The picture comes from the Internet, the copyright belongs to the author

What are the consequences of this borderless love and control?

At the end of March this year, when Di Ying’s son Sun Anzuo was studying in the United States,Arrested by the police for threatening to create a campus shooting.

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The latest news is that Sun Anzuo was "released after serving his sentence" and will soon be deported to Taiwan and will not be allowed to enter the United States for life.

At the beginning, the police found body armor, bullet-carrying backpacks, crossbows, firearms, and 1608 rounds of ammunition in his home. Such powerful firepower made the sergeant who had been in the police for many years stunned.

The picture comes from the Internet, the copyright belongs to the author

What Di Ying would never think of was that the excessive protection and control of children for a long time had already turned into a steady stream of pressure, which had flowed into the children's young hearts.The young Sun Anzuo is like a balloon that keeps inflating and is on the verge of bursting at any time.

When he was finally released to a relatively free land in a foreign country, exploding, hurting others, and hurting himself, it might be his final destiny.

The picture comes from the Internet, the copyright belongs to the author

Parenting
But a practice of love and letting go
In all the above cases, we will find that no parents do not love their children, their love is even extremely strong.

I want to give my children the best resources and conditions, just for the smooth flow of TA's life, only flowers and applause in life;

I am afraid that the child will be frustrated and injured, soExhausted all means to give TA strict protection, do not want TA to jump out of the carefully stacked high wall;

Under the permeation of the concept of "good for you", it is necessary to make arrangements for children from daily eating and drinking to work and marriage...

Chinese version of the rooftop confession

The boy who exhausted his energy to refuse apples and eggs

Once the children grow up and gradually have independent ideas and personal lives, the parents begin to panic. Most of their reactions are the same as in "Baby Bao"——"You are still a child, how do you face the outside world? You are gone, what should I do? "

In the minds of such parents, children are "private objects", the realization of self-expectations and the continuation of self-worth. They have long been accustomed to coexisting with their children, taking care of everything for them.

The picture comes from the Pixar animated short film "Baby Baby"

But giving without a sense of boundaries and unwillingness to let go will suffocate the child and force the child to resist. Once the problem is solved improperly, it will cause the family relationship to be broken or the tragedy of harming others and self.

When parents want to control too much, no matter how they look at it, it is a dead end.

The picture comes from the Internet, the copyright belongs to the author

In terms of how to properly handle parent-child relationships, the mother of Japanese table tennis star Ai Fukuhara is actually a good example.

When Ai Fukuhara was 12 years old, she decided to go to China alone to practice table tennis. At this time, her mother let go. She just left as a primary school student,Eating food from a foreign land, listening to a foreign language.

Looking back, I never saw the familiar figure of my mother again. All things must be done by yourself, and all difficulties must be faced by yourself.

The picture comes from the Internet, the copyright belongs to the author

Of course the mother is reluctant and reluctant, but she knows that if she wants her child to grow up better, she should not interfere with her.

It is also with this wisdom to let go in time, Fukuhara Ai grew a pair of powerful wings after experiencing more wind and rain.

The picture comes from the Internet, the copyright belongs to the author

Fukuhara Ai’s mother’s choice tells us that being a parent is nothing more than a practice of love and letting go. When two generations get along, they must learn to slowly let go of each other's hands.

Smart and far-sighted parents can give their children the strongest love when they are young, and they can withdraw gracefully when their children are moving towards independence, giving them enough space and freedom.

A family with a sense of boundaries will not allow children to become puppets of their parents, sinking into a desperate swamp, and no way out.

The ending of "Baby Bag" finally returned to warmth after the horror.

After the old mother swallowed the little bun, she suddenly woke up from the nightmare. It turned out that all this was just a fantasy in her own dream.

And her real son, a man with a haircut resembling a little bun, also returned to her, and the barrier between mother and child slowly disappeared.

The picture comes from the Pixar animated short film "Baby Baby"

▼ORDS

The mother accepted the son's independence and departure, and also learned to get along with the foreign daughter-in-law, everything is developing in a good direction.

The picture comes from the Pixar animated short film "Baby Baby"

Shi Zhiyu, director of "Baby Bag", said that this is a story about family and love, and it is also a story about letting go.

May all parents and children who love each other deeply will forgive each other and reach a reconciliation., Usher in their own abundance years.

* About the author: Chris, said that after 90 elite Xiao Bian, Hong Kong media small master, a senior out of interest covered a wide range of people wailing star. The elite is said to be a gathering place for global elites and international students. Daily release of cutting-edge information at home and abroad, here are new knowledge of studying abroad, elite stories and American street visits, showing you the true overseas life in all aspects. Welcome everyone to pay attention to elitestalk (ID: elitestalk).
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