Australia-Features: Cross-cultural and cross-ethnic marriage of Chinese Australians-Chinatown, Australia

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Three Australian women and a Chinese man talk about intercultural marriage based on their own experiences.

Bai Lisa gave birth to her first mixed-race baby more than six months ago, and she was finally promoted to be a mother.

Bai Lisa gave birth to a mixed baby more than six months ago.

upplied

墨尔本意大利裔第二代Claria Belanti有个中文名叫白丽莎。她从中学就开始对中华文化感兴趣,中学一毕业就去了中国留学,六个月前她生下了一个中意混血宝宝。

孩子的降生让白莉莎的父母喜出望外。她说,妈妈是意大利裔,意大利人与华人有着类似的家庭观念,虽然一般西人父母不会在女儿或儿媳妇生完孩子后会这么地用心照顾、帮忙,但是她意大利背景的妈妈却把这当做一种乐趣,一种祖父母的职责。

"My mother often comes to my house to help, and she has to come several times a day, and even makes a dozen video calls to see her granddaughter," Bai Lisa said.

王盼博士是新南威尔大学中国与亚洲研究学高级讲师。她新近的研究数据表明,欧裔女性嫁给男性的例子并不多见。白丽莎是其中一个。

Three cross-cultural and ethnic intermarriage guests and a Chinese marriage research expert appeared on the "Live Australia" program.
Three cross-cultural and ethnic intermarriage guests and a Chinese marriage research expert participated in the "Live Australia" program.
(ABC Chinese)

除她之外,ABC中文的《直播澳洲》节目还邀请到了两位不同背景的女性及一位男性,一同分享他们的跨文化族裔婚姻。

Dr. Wang Pan, who specializes in Chinese cross-cultural marriage and love, pointed out in an upcoming paper that new immigrants tend to choose people of the same race and culture to marry.

"However, in Australia, the proportion of Chinese-born men who marry internally and women who marry externally is increasing. This means that mainland-born women are increasingly marrying non-mainland-born men, while men are just the opposite." she says.

很有意思的是华人女性嫁不同背景的男士的比例远高于男性娶非女性的比例。

Dr. Wang Pan said there are many reasons for this.

"Many intercultural marriages are remarriage, especially those with children. These women may be discriminated against in China, but foreign men don't care about this."

She said that in the eyes of many Western men, Asian women have the stereotype of being gentle, good-wife and mother-like, and therefore they are favored.

"There is also that under Chinese culture, men are the heads of the family and should not leave their homeland easily. Some Chinese men are even machismo. Western women have relatively higher education, higher incomes, more open personality, and sex. The aspect is relatively open, so Chinese men will feel some pressure in front of Western women."

She said that Chinese men lack some masculinity in the description of Western media, and they do not have the presupposition of being tall, strong, and economically well-equipped for Western men, and may not be able to control "independent and powerful" Western women.

However, in recent years, the proportion of Chinese men marrying foreign women has gradually increased.

"There are no cultural differences in a truly happy marriage."

The second-generation Italian-born Bai Lisa in Australia chose to marry a handsome guy from China.
The second-generation Italian-born Bai Lisa in Australia chose to marry a handsome guy from China.
(upplied)

Bai Lisha agrees with Dr. Wang Pan's analysis.

"I think the Western women mentioned by Dr. Wang Pan are more independent and powerful. That's true. My husband specifically pointed out this point. I think I am very different from Chinese women."

Bai Lisha said that initially she did not have the mentality of non-Chinese not to marry, but fate allowed her to find the other half of her life.

"I didn't think about marrying a Chinese at the time. I didn't specifically want to find someone of any race as a lifelong partner. That's actually fate."

One of them was from the United States and the other from Australia to China. In Bai Lisa's words, two people with different starting points, but the end of the journey is the same, that is, Nanjing.When they arrived in China, the two met during the transfer at the airport, and then fell in love and fell in love.

"After talking, we found that we have a lot in common with each other. The key is that they are tall and handsome. To be honest, I was deeply attracted by his appearance."

She said that although both can speak each other's language fluently and both have experience living in each other's cultures, cultural differences are still indispensable.

Bai Lisha specifically talked about the habit of giving gifts.

“我老公每次去见我的父母、朋友都要带着去送给他们。其实人家根本没有这样的期待,反而觉得有点儿奇怪。”

The expression of love in Eastern and Western cultures is also very different.

"My husband will buy me what I like to eat and is not good at speaking out, [but] making it."

Chen Danbo, who immigrated to Australia with her parents at the age of eight, said she liked her husband instead of his ethnic background.
Chen Danbo, who immigrated to Australia with her parents at the age of eight, said she liked her husband instead of his ethnic background.
(upplied)

陈丹波在2013年与同是“1.5代移民(即:很小就移民澳大利亚)”的印度裔澳大利亚人马晓龙(hannon Martia)喜结良缘。对她来说,起初让自己坠入爱河的是马晓龙这个人,而不是他是否来自非background.

“刚开始我觉得会比较,因为我们两人除了文化、背景不同之外,还有宗教信仰上的差异。但是我们交往一个月之后就觉得自己找到了另一半。”

"This is fate. No matter where you are from, where you were born, your cultural background, who your parents are, or where you study, fate is actually given to you by God."

"It's because I fell in love with that person, not because he is Indian. It just so happens that my husband also meets my mother's requirements for me to find someone. He has three master's degrees."

Dr. Wang Pan said that fate is actually the perfect embodiment of the same concept of marriage, love and values.

"There are cultural differences, but they are superficial. I think there are no cultural differences in a truly happy marriage."

目前,已经是三个孩子妈妈的陈丹波因为龙凤双胞胎的降生而搬回父母所居住的墨尔本。疫情之前,她的先生每两周驾车从堪培拉回墨尔本一趟,但是由于疫情爆发,马晓龙已经六个多月没亲手抱过Baby.

The birth of a pair of dragons and phoenixes left Chen Danbo alone, so he had to live apart from her husband for a period of time.
一对龙凤胎的出生让陈丹波一个人忙不过来了,再加上新冠疫情的来袭,因此她要与丈夫两地相当长的一段时间。
(upplied)

"Maybe now that there are children, the children have become the focus, and the relationship between each other has relegated to second place."

然而,陈丹波说两地其实并没有让他们越来越疏远,因为三个孩子是他们关系的纽带。

She said that she and her husband belonged to the same "1.5 generation" immigrants. The experience of growing up in Australia allowed them to have a common language, and it was easier for them to cultivate relationships and share life experiences.

"Our ideas are very Australian. We are very similar in thinking and culture, and we understand what each other is thinking."

Precisely because of the same experience and similar cultural customs, she said that both her husband and wife value the recognition of their families.

"I was born in China and immigrated to Australia at a very young age. At the same time, I am the only daughter of my family, so I especially hope to get the blessing of my parents in my marriage. Without this, no matter how good the relationship is, no love can last. "

Dr. Wang Pan believes that whether Chinese choose cross-ethnic marriage is closely related to their personal factors.These include English proficiency, age, education level, cultural identity, identity, family background, and family attitudes towards transnational marriages, such as whether the parents support it, and the social environment.

Yang Qianhui, who immigrated from Taiwan, said that her tortuous experience with her husband before getting married laid a solid foundation for their marriage.
Yang Qianhui, who immigrated from Taiwan, said that her tortuous experience with her husband before getting married laid a solid foundation for their marriage.
(upplied)

多年来一直活跃在政坛的台湾移民杨千慧也嫁给了一位非老公。她说跨文化通婚与同文化婚姻都是一样的,人们必须以真诚相待的心态去面对对方,不可能一辈子演戏,扮演你本来不是的角色。

杨千慧说在与丈夫相识,成为男女朋友一年之后,她先生就被检查出了的晚期淋巴癌。这对她来说是晴天霹雳。她说患难之中见真情就体现在了她的婚姻上。

"Looking back now, there is no chance to think too much, no time to think too much. It's just an idea to accompany him through this hurdle and receive treatment."

Fortunately, her husband broke free from the illness.A few years later they entered the palace of marriage and gave birth to a son and a daughter.

"Seriously, people can't pretend to be themselves during this time when they are rubbing shoulders with death. What the other person sees is the most authentic one another. People can't pretend when they are most vulnerable and stressed. It's the most true and complete counterparty."

She said that she and her husband did not have a clear division of labor, such as what you should do and what you should not do.

"Everyone is actually making each other for each other. Allow each other to try new things, new fields, and slowly learn to adapt. Regardless of the results, they actively appreciate each other's efforts."

"Of course, there will always be unhappy and bickering between husband and wife, but most of the time we don't deliberately think too much. Who has made sacrifices, but feels that we have to face the future and look forward to the plan. One step. This is what we often discuss."

Yang Qianhui said that she and her husband trust each other, achieve each other, and give each other more room for development.
Yang Qianhui said that she and her husband trust each other, achieve each other, and give each other more room for development and never control each other.
(upplied)

"I am a cross-ethnic marriage, not a cross-cultural marriage"

The situation of cross-cultural marriage in the Chinese community in Australia has always been a research topic.

十几年前曾任职于澳大利亚国立大学人口研究中心的负责人、高级研究员的邱少燕(iew-Ean Khoo)博士撰写了论文《异族通婚、融合、多元文化主义》(Intermarriage, Integration and Multiculturalim)。

This paper pointed out that, generally speaking, the more algebraic immigrants settle in Australia, the higher the proportion of integration and marriage with other ethnic groups.

She introduced the Chinese community as an example: Only 10% to 20% of the first generation of Chinese immigrants combined with aliens.However, by the second generation, this proportion has increased dramatically.The intermarriage rate of second-generation Chinese immigrants reached 40% to 50%.

Dr. Qiu Shaoyan once said that she was even more surprised that the third or more generations of Chinese who settled in Australia had a rate of intermarriage with other ethnic groups that was comparable to that of Europeans.

Video Player failed to load.

Wang Xingxiang, CEO of the Australian China History Museum, is with his Australian wife.

Mr. Wang Xingxiang, the fourth-generation Chinese Australian, said that although his father told him not to marry other ethnic groups, he still thinks that it is normal to marry Australians of European descent.

Play

pace to play or paue, M to mute, left and right arrow to eek, up and down arrow for volume.

Mr. Wang Xingxiang, the fourth-generation Chinese Australian, said that although his father told him not to marry other ethnic groups, he still thinks that it is normal to marry Australians of European descent. (
ABC Chinese
)

目前任职墨尔本澳华历史博物馆首席执行官兼董事会副主席的王兴乡先生是澳大利亚第四代。他的妈妈是第三代,而爸爸则是第一代。在婚姻问题上,他的爸爸曾极力反对他与澳大利亚人结婚。

“我认为那些对自己文化很自傲的人认为跨族裔婚姻会稀释原来文化,我父亲就曾告诫我不要与我的太太结婚,因为她不是. "

But he said he would not feel separated with the Australians.

"My real cultural background is Australian culture. It is normal for me to meet and fall in love with Australians to get married."

“在我小时候,我从来没和华人在一起过。我在墨尔本上小学,一个900人的学校里,我是唯一的华人。我那时从来没见过与我同龄的华人。我在一个西方社会长大,在我小的时候,我从来没觉得自己是华人。与华人结婚是很的事情。”

He said that his marriage can only be said to be cross-ethnic marriage, not cross-cultural marriage.

He says,兄弟听从了父亲的要求,与在[昆州]汤斯维尔出生长大的华人结了婚。因为他们双方都是在澳大利亚长大的华人。

Dr. Wang Pan, a senior lecturer in Chinese and Asian Studies at the University of New South Wales, pointed out that cross-cultural and cross-ethnic marriages will also encounter many challenges.
Dr. Wang Pan, a senior lecturer in Chinese and Asian Studies at the University of New South Wales, pointed out that cross-cultural and cross-ethnic marriages will also encounter many challenges.
(upplied:UNW)

王盼博士认为王兴乡一家的例子不特殊但也不多见,可以说是少数在移民国同化过程的一个结果。

“相比历史上早期移民,后代移民的社会经济地位不断上升,融入主流社会,逐渐被同化。因为他们和当地的白人交往增多、面广、又深入到日常生活的各方面。这种同化过程反应了少数在澳的社会、经济、文化地位,同时也是与多数民族认同过程中的产物。”

Dr. Qiu Shaoyan's research also found that the offspring of interracial marriages have a stronger sense of identity with Australians.They often use Australians to describe themselves.

她发现随着移民澳大利亚代数的增加,越来越多的人把自己认定为是澳大利亚人。特别是异族通婚家庭里的子女,当他们的有着不同的民族背景,数据显示这些混血儿更倾向认为自己是澳大利亚人。

She said that language retention and national identity have gradually faded over time.Although the third-generation immigrants still retain their sense of national identity, their ability to express their national language is almost lost.Young people after the third generation have a wider space for contact with people of different races.

Mr. Wang Xingxiang said that multiculturalism should be reflected on the human level.

“现在,世界越来越融合在了一起。不同文化的我们都通过跨族裔通婚融合在了一起。我的女儿与意大利男子结了婚。我的小外孙刚刚出生。我的外孙有着意大利、、波兰、英国血统。”

“他在做测试的时候,血统是什么?他没有一个占压倒性优势的文化。这就是世界发展的一个趋势。我认为多元文化就是接受对方[文化与不同],生活在同一屋檐下。”

The history of cross-cultural and cross-ethnic marriage of Chinese in Australia

Video Player failed to load.

Mei Guangda, who was once famous among Chinese Australians, chose to marry a European woman as his wife.

Mr. Wang Xingxiang, the fourth-generation Chinese Australian, said that although his father told him not to marry other ethnic groups, he still thinks that it is normal to marry Australians of European descent.

Play

pace to play or paue, M to mute, left and right arrow to eek, up and down arrow for volume.

Mr. Wang Xingxiang, the fourth-generation Chinese Australian, said that although his father told him not to marry other ethnic groups, he still thinks that it is normal to marry Australians of European descent. (
ABC Chinese
)

澳大利亚华人跨文化跨族裔通婚可以追溯到19世纪中叶的淘金潮,当时大批华人来到澳大利亚淘金。

Mr. Wang Xingxiang said that there were many reasons for interracial marriages at that time:

第一,当时女性不多。他说在淘金潮及之后的,华人妇女没有来澳大利亚生活是因为没有这个必要,他们需要在中国照看他们的家庭。这就是当时的情况。在1853年,维州当时只有三名妇女,却有2.5万male.

Second, at that time, these Chinese workers did not emigrate to Australia.They just come here to work and send the money they earned back to their country. In the end, many people choose to return to their country.They have no plans to drag their families to settle in Australia.It is very different from the situation where the whole family emigrates together now.

第三,那时华人有三妻四妾的想法。他们可以在中国有妻子,在澳大利亚也有妻子。他们也许在中国已经有家庭了,也想在澳大利亚有家庭。在中国人的传统习俗中,这是可以接受的。他的曾祖爷爷就曾与非女性有过恋情,但是还是从中国娶了女子来澳大利亚结婚。

He said that the reason why most Chinese married Irish or aboriginal women was because at that time, Irish, Aboriginal and Chinese belonged to the lower class in terms of social class classification.The British and their descendants belong to a higher social class.There are relatively more intersections between low-class people. In cities, Chinese and Irish women marry, while in rural areas, such as Western Australia or Queensland, it is more the cross-ethnic combination of Aborigines and Chinese.

那时,华人的后裔(包括混血孩子)遭受了和他们祖辈一样的歧视,但是程度更轻些。那些混血儿如果长相看起来像欧洲人的话,则可以生活得不错,这种种族歧视一直贯穿白澳政策(1901-1975)以及之前的年代。

Welcome to the 14th issue of the ABC Chinese Facebook live interactive program "Live Australia", which is broadcast on time every Wednesday at XNUMXpm (Eastern Daylight Time).You can tell us the topics you want to discuss through the contact information below.

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"Chinatown" Fb shares selected Australian news every day, so that you can know the latest Australian news at anytime and anywhere @娱乐、@migrant、@生活资讯:http://www.fb.com/new.china.com.au/

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