Australia-Gao Yaojie: I am 93 years old and have been on the run for my entire life | Australia Chinatown

Release your eyes, put on headphones, and listen~!
2019年,希拉里在纽约看望高耀洁。高耀洁手里拿着《烟雨任平生:高耀洁晚年口述》一书。 我今年已九十。。。
            <p style="text-align:center"><img border="0" src="https://cdn.china.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/17142008/20210217032005-602c8b65e6df7.jpg"/></p>

In 2019, Hillary visited Gao Yaojie in New York.Gao Yaojie holds the book "Amidst the Rain and Ren Pingsheng: Gao Yaojie's Oral in His Later Years".

我今年已九十三岁了,多次“跑反”和逃难伴随着我的一生。
从山东逃到河南,在河南又几度逃难,度过了我人生艰苦的青壮年时代。到了老年,逃难并没有停下来。

到了八十二岁,为了说出中国艾滋病真相,我被迫离开自己的国家,孤身寄居美国纽约十多年。时下又遇到“新冠肺炎”疫情爆发,美国是全世界新冠肺炎重疫区,本人年老多病,无处可逃,奈之何?

Gao Yaojie during the epidemic. (Photo by Lin Shiyu on July 2020, 7)

(One)

1927年12月,我出生于山东曹县一个深闺豪门的富裕家庭,独庄独寨,有田地70多亩,是鲁西南出名的大富户(见曹县志)。我是母亲生育的第一胎,她是续弦。父亲前任妻子病故,留下两个姐姐,高家很盼望我母亲生个男孩,但生的我又是个女孩。在那个重男轻女的社会,他们很失望。为了让我母亲再生男孩,停止了对我的母乳喂养,专门雇奶娘喂养,造成我终生慢性肠胃病,体形消瘦,体力差于同龄人,幸而进入医学院读书,掌握了医学知识,后又从事医疗工作,目前活到93岁,已算长寿。

1939年3月,ba路军一支部队进入高新庄,拘留我家三人。其中包括我父亲,还有因为中风半身不遂的二伯父,他的罪名是“日本汉奸”。
那时日军还没有占领曹县,二伯父生病已年余,哪来的汉奸罪名?

In order to ask for money, the Ba Lu Army tortured the three of them severely and poured pepper water into their nostrils.After half a month of tossing, the Gao family paid out 30 cash for the ransom, and they released them.At the same time, they robbed all the clothing, furniture, and grains of the Gao family.Not even a spoonful of rice grains were left behind.In desperation, my father and his family fled to Jiunvji Village, Liuhe Town.

This was the first time I ran away, when I was 11 years old.

(two)

Jiu Nv Ji is a large market town. In addition to a five-day gathering, there are also many shops on the avenue.There is a temple at the back of the town. Every time there is a gathering, pilgrims from other places come to worship and it is very lively.There are several households in the town that have the Kuomintang Seventh Route Army stationed there, and the funds depend on the government. They do not rob, and the town is relatively stable.

My family leased a small courtyard and three houses in the town.There are three rooms in the upper house, where my parents live with my little brothers.I live in three rooms in the East House with two sisters, two younger sisters, and five people.Three rooms in Westinghouse cook and put some sundries.After living there for a few months, I was afraid of going out all the day, fearing that outsiders would know that we were the big family who had escaped from Gaoxinzhuang and we would be robbed by accident.

有一天,我们全家正在院子里吃午饭,等了多时,我父亲匆匆忙忙走进来,说:日本鬼子已经到了寨外,赶快走!
我母亲抱着我小弟弟,拉着我大弟弟,还有我姊妹五个走出住处。

这时街上十分混乱,人们都向东边跑,我们被裹挟在人流中,出了东门。这时南门那边突然爆发了激烈的枪声,七路军与日本鬼子交上火了,他们阻止日本鬼子前进,掩护老百姓撤退。
东门外更乱了,人们出了东门向北跑,我母亲是小脚,拉着两个弟弟走不动了。我父亲领着全家走过约一米深的土壕,坐在小树林里休息。这里与大路只隔着一块约十五米宽的高梁地,可以很清楚看到日本鬼子在大路上行走。
约有三四百人,两辆炮车,向城武县方向进行。夕阳西下时,听到城武县方向炮声隆隆,并可以看到几处灰黄色烟柱。

The JiuNv episode calmed down. In the evening, we followed the fleeing crowd and returned home to the town.

(three)

My father believed that the social unrest would not be subdued in a short time, and he had to stay away from his hometown and live in Sichuan after the War of Resistance.But my mother wanted to return to Gaoxinzhuang. After arguing for many days, the two sides compromised and decided to flee to Kaifeng, the capital of Henan.There are several relatives there, especially the Lu family, the natal family of my father's third dead wife.She has six elder brothers who live in Kaifeng, and they have contacts.So we decided to move to Kaifeng.

One day in June (or July), 1939, our family left by horse-drawn carriage from the Catholic Church in Cao County, arrived at Liuheji Railway Station at noon, and entered a vacant room next to the waiting room.It was dirty inside, and there were a few broken mats on the floor. Our family sat down and rested.After a while, four police officers came to check their luggage. After my father had dealt with them, the whole family quickly boarded the train bound for Kaifeng.On the train, I saw two Japanese soldiers up close for the first time.

In the evening, the train arrived at Kaifeng Nanguan Railway Station at sunset.At that time, Kaifeng was the capital city of Henan. It was the first time I saw such a big shed, the roof of which was all stained glass.The railway station has two platforms and four railroad tracks.We left the ticket gate and left the train station.The family pulled their luggage into the rented house on Miaohou Street. It is said that the uncles of the Lu family arranged it.During this period, we had frequent contacts with the six uncles of the Lu family.Two months later, I moved to Nanjukui Lane, where there were a lot of bed bugs, affecting sleep.A month later, we moved to Houjia Hutong.

当年冬天,又迁居北大街。父亲在北大街井胡同口开个杂货铺,当时社会很乱,汉奸、无赖、流氓买东西记账,永远不还钱。
因为赔钱太多,父亲只好关了杂货铺。1943年秋季,父亲买了游梁市前街31号独院,生活总算安定下来了。父亲开磨坊维持全家生活。

(four)

1948年春季,我考入开封女子师范,属中等专科学校,是培育小学教师的。那时我想将来当个小学教师,生活可以自立。

第一学期将要结束,八路军攻打开封,开封女师是枪战重点。同学们都藏在第三宿舍楼内地下室里,外面的枪弹像下雨一般密集。
当时开封女师的伤亡情况不得而知。三天之后,八路军自动撤退了。只见到开封城墙内外躺满了阵亡将士的尸体,尸横遍野,臭气熏天,惨不忍睹。
真如孟子云:“争地以战,杀人盈野;争城以战,杀人盈城。 ”

开封各所学校奉河南省政府和教育厅之命,准备迁往外地,在校学生纷纷报名。全体同学随学校南迁,临走前,我父亲用一辆破自行车给我送一床旧棉被。
到了学校门口,他说:“谁也不知道自己将来是死是活,你安心跟学校走吧! ”我没有想到和父亲已是永别了。

晚上,全体同学在王少明校长和十几位教师的带领下,乘上开往南京市的火车。火车上,同学们出现各种情绪:
有人流泪,有人昏昏欲睡,有人唱悲歌。大家都在前思后想,谁也无法预料未来的日子是什么样。

两天后,火车停在江苏南京市江北下关火车站,这是一个码头,大家等候木船摆渡,分批(以班为单位)到南京。
这时同学们都席地而卧,躺在水泥地上。幸亏父亲送我一棉被,使我少遭湿冷。
同学们在南京聚集后,奔赴浙江嘉兴,那是我们迁校的目的地。

我校迁址在嘉兴市池湾镇,三年级和二年级住西真寺,我们一年级住池湾茧场,生活靠当地政府和民间人士捐助粮食。
天天吃大米稀饭,里面加入少量油盐和各种不同的蔬菜叶,没有炒菜。同学们闲余之时,到田间或小河旁采集野蒜和其它野菜。
回家后,把野菜洗净,用盐拌,大家分着吃。当时我是一年级的伙委,所以这个过程记得很清楚。

随学校来的老师很少,我们在池湾镇茧场的房子很大,两个年级两个班一起上课。
一间上物理课,另一间上化学课。有时候,一边上体育,另一边上健美操。 有的同学心情烦躁,闹情绪,闹不团结。他们因为想家,常常哭泣。
我也很难过,跟着流泪,后来就变成嚎啕大哭。

茧场只有教师殷进德先生夫妇住在那里,负责管理我们。 他们还带着三个孩子。同学们白天在茧场一楼上课,晚上去二层睡觉。
这个时期,有办法的同学都走了,我和榆惠璋、时荣华同学等四个人转往江苏嵩云中学高中二年级下学期。入学没几周,校长王哲夫宣布搬迁。

这个学校是随当时的河南省政府行动的,不久迁往四川万县(现重庆万县)。
途中,我们乘坐无蓬木船,雨淋日晒,有种自生自灭的感觉。通过长江三峡时非常可怕,让人胆战心惊。

走了五天,终于到达万县。
全校同学住在辅城法学院,学校生活较好,每周末还会改善一次伙食,同学们终于可以安心上课了。老师都是当地请来的,有时他们说的四川话我们听不懂。
他多用板书,一学期后,榆惠璋、时荣华的父亲都是河南省政府官员,他们认为形势不好,就把女儿带往台湾。

我们上了一学期课。
1949年底,我到了山东同乡、万县红十字会医院院长沈丕模家住。之前我去看病认识了沈院长,他与我二伯父高圣君认识,因此拉上关系。
当时沈家生活很富裕,有三个孩子都在上学。他的太太比较年轻,不工作,只负责相夫教子。
1950年元月,沈太太回山东济南探亲,我随她回到河南开封家中。

我回到开封后,是年8月考上河南大学医学院。
50年代给沈太太写过感谢信,那时院长沈丕模当了万县卫生局局长。“反右派”时,他被划成“右派”,最后被迫害致死。

(Fives)

One day in late March 2009, I received a call from the French Embassy in China, telling France to give me the annual "Outstanding Women Award".I didn't hear it clearly, so I said, "In mid-April, I will go to Shanghai to attend the "Southern Weekend" awards ceremony. Then we can talk in person." The other party replied "Yes."Unfortunately, the "Chinese Dream Practitioners" tribute ceremony hosted by "Southern Weekend" was delayed, and I did not go to Shanghai.

5月6日上午9时许,我突然感觉气氛不对。 家里电话又出了故障,打不出去,也打不进来。电脑也出了问题。 我去小区门外超市买东西,
发现小区内有不少陌生人。他们目光异常,让我感觉不妙,很象2007年2月我赴美国领奖前夕的情况。

我午饭也没来得及吃,假牙也没来得及带,两手空空, 只取出电脑的硬盘( 里面有三本书稿, 我不能放弃)
,把硬盘放在内衣兜里,匆匆从小区后门离开了家。 就这样,我一步步离开自己的家乡和祖国,从此踏上一条不归路。

我这次外出,完全是为了让艾滋病人用鲜血和生命换来的资料,不能在这个世界消失。我要为他们发声。2007年3月,
我赴美国领取“生命之音”奖,很多美国要人和权贵出面留我住在美国安度晚年, 我没有接受,
仍坚持回国了。因为我还要继续为艾滋病人伸冤,很多事情没有完成。但是这次,我不得已出走,因为我已经没有说话的地方了。

我是一个风烛残年的老人,非万不得己, 不会只身离开自己的国家。这次盲目外出,不知所如,
只是为了把这些资料(关于中国艾滋病疫情的三本书) 留给后人。苍苍大地, 茫茫人海, 何处是我的归宿?

82岁的我颠着一双小脚,步履蹒跚,行走困难。离家后,我先到了成都, 最后到广州,住在一个农村,天天修改书稿,。此处离大学城很近,
有不少志愿者和大学生过来帮助我。每天都有两到三人帮我打字,这给了我莫大安慰。但是一想到那个回不去的家,我多次流泪。我不是不想回家,而是因为揭露艾滋病真相使得我不能回家。

目前我仍为艾滋弱势群体说话,救助他们。往日的防艾工作,一切活动都是自费, 不敢收任何人给我的钱。
即便情面难却时收下钱,改日又把钱还他。比如2000年8月的一天,北京“爱知行”负责人万延海到郑州给我送钱, 他两次给我两万八千元。
2003年冬,我从邮局寄给他3万, 多给的2千元作为利息。

我为艾滋病受害者呐喊, 是一个医生的职责,为什么要对我进行各种打压、造谣和诋毁?
为什么要对我的工作中进行阻扰?甚至在农村疫区悬赏500元举报我, 阻止我进入艾滋村。
我往贫困地区邮寄的书籍、衣物经常丢失。我的电话经常打不通,我出门经常有人跟踪。 如此种种,令人难以忍受!

I think about it, I don’t know how many times I cried!

我权衡了利弊,心想,本人若无声无息地死去,手里的资料便如石沉大海,外界一无所知,最后我决定出走。
我托香港的朋友帮我联络,请他往国外给我2007年认识的朋友打个电话,说我已经离开了家,无处可去,
需要出国。2009年7月中旬,我与美国有关人土取得联系,7月下旬开始办出国手续。
有朋友托付在美华人组织,请他们派人来接我出国。

8月7日,我离开了广州白云机场,途中三次转机,8日抵达目的地。
到了美国后,我心中的一块巨石落了地。接待我的是山东同乡,我住在他家里, 他们全家对我的生活照顾得不错,前后住了半年多。
我非常感谢他们。

2010年3月,
我被哥伦比亚大学聘为访问学者,由外州搬往纽约,现住在一所公寓里。我深居简出,尽心尽力,把我的书稿编写好。

Gao Yaojie's apartment in New York. (Photographed by Lin Shiyu in October 2020)

自古人生谁无死?我不怕死,我怕的是手头这些关于中国艾滋疫情的真实资料被湮没。我这次外出,是为了不让艾滋病人用鲜血和生命换来的病例白费,2010年上半年,三本书全出版了,
还修订增版了《高洁的灵魂》一书。此书于2010年12月上市后, 在社会上引起较大反响,并获得第四届香港书奖,同时译成英文版。

from
2009年走出国门至今,十年多了!我与骨肉亲人阴阳相隔或天各一方,思之怆然。身处异国他乡,生活不惯,言语不通,非常不便。经常有很多中国人来看我,他们中的一些人来历不明,用意并不单纯,我处境相当艰难。

The west wind night is long, heartbroken people are in the end of the world!

I
耳聋眼花,年老多病,多年来靠药物维持生命。平时乏力嗜睡、行走蹒跚,精力和体力均不支,所以我无力参加社会活动,只有埋头整理书稿,度过我人生最后的时光。

可怕的是,近两年来,我因肺部疾病卧床吸氧,垂垂老矣。
即便如此,仍想尽力给后人留下我一生的所见所闻,让你们看到中国曾经发生了什么。

I have few days to come, and I often miss my children. On New Year’s Eve in 2019, I think the child is a piece of meat that fell from me after all, and wrote the following poem:

miss

My night is your day,

You go to sleep when I miss you.

At the age of ninety-two, I miss indefinite time,

Thinking back to your childhood little faces,

Lively and immaculate action,

The cry of milk,

This is the music scene back then,

Now stay between dreams.

(This article was originally published on September 2020, 9 "Dian Media". With the consent of Mr. Gao Yaojie, some textual changes have been made and published on this official account.)

——End——

【About the Author】高耀洁,1927年出生于山东曹县,1954年毕业于河南大学医学院。河南中医学院退休教授,妇科肿瘤病专家。1996年发现因输血感染艾滋病病例,遂投身艾滋病防治和调查工作,救助艾滋病人和艾滋孤儿,被称为“中国民间防艾滋第一人”。2009年移居美国,现居纽约。
曾获“乔纳森.曼恩世界健康和人权奖”、“全球女性领袖奖”等国际奖项。被美国《时代周刊》评为“亚洲英雄”,《商业周刊》评为“亚洲之星”,并当选中国中央电视台“感动中国”2003年度人物之一。2007年,国际天文联合会将38980号小行星命名为“高耀洁”。一生出版着作30多本。

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