After watching the suffocating scene of the father and son in KFC, I understand why some children never get rich all their lives

Release your eyes, put on headphones, and listen~!

This story was seen on Zhihu.
While sitting down to eat, the father said to the child:
“你吃这一顿饭,就花了我半天辛苦工作. "
The child looked 7 or 8 years old, and after listening, neither father nor son spoke.
But judging from the boy's lowered head and the slow movement of chewing food, he understood and listened to it.
Picture source network
Probably in the eyes of that father, he seized a great opportunity to educate his children.
In a word, it not only shows the economic situation of the family, educates the children to be thrifty and thrifty, but also builds themselves into the image of a loving father who does his best to meet the children's needs.
I don't know how that child will digest this sentence in the future, but when I finish reading this story, I feel very uncomfortable.
Because Chinese children basically grew up listening to these words of their parents at the dinner table.

"Our family's conditions are not as good as others. Don't participate in the comparison between classmates in school."
"It's not easy for parents to support you. They also need to support you to study. Don't spend money where you shouldn't.

They heard the "subtext" of their parents:
He does not mean that.
A sentence is like a needle pierced into the heart. Parents may not think much about it, but it may linger in the child's heart for the rest of their lives.

We all heard a story when we were young.
In order to give up fish meat to her children, a mother always said that she liked to eat fish heads, and the children believed it.
Outside of the story, we will all be moved by our mother's dedication.
But what about the child in the story?
The grievances that the mother has accumulated for a lifetime have also become the guilt of the child for the rest of his life, like a knuckle in his throat.
Is it true that mothers who also like to eat fish can't share the same fish with their children?
not necessarily.
However, a 7-year-old child can only bear the pressure that a 7-year-old child should bear.
As Teacher Wu Zhihong said,“任何一个超过他们承受范围的复杂挑战,都给他们造成不小的内心打击。”
Trying to "selflessly give" and subconsciously feel that the child owes himself to himself, so he always reveals the emotion that "parents are not easy" in front of the child when he thinks it is suitable.
This seems to be a "common problem" among Chinese parents.
Every little happiness of a child, every realization of a careful wish, is accompanied by a great sense of guilt.
In order to reduce feelings of guilt, he will learn to be "sensible" and "considerate", suppressing his urge to ask, not to mention extravagant desires.
The feeling of guiltily wanting to eviscerate the bones and restore the father to the mother is something that many parents cannot imagine or are unwilling to believe.
The psychiatrist Zeng Qifeng said,Parents cry poor to their children, not education, but poisoning.
They kept silent, but their self-blame continued to spread, and the disease began to breed quietly.
知乎大[email protected]巴赫爱喝胡辣汤,举过一个女孩的例子。
At the age of 8, she was standing in front of a shop window and saw her favorite Barbie doll. She would think: "Although I want it very much, my parents said that they are very hard to make money. I shouldn't be so ignorant and can't put pressure on them. "
At the age of 18, she wanted to choose the art major she likes, but what her parents said, "Art is unstable, study accounting, and entering the bank in the future is an iron job."
In this way, she is accustomed to being excessively considerate of each other in the relationship, and accustomed to being excessively responsible for other people's emotions.
When the other party paid one point for her, she felt that she owed the other party ten points.I would rather wrong my own will, but also make the other party satisfied.
She did not dare to refuse, nor did she dare to insist on her own opinions.
I didn't dare to take care of and satisfy my emotions and needs, and eventually lost control of my life step by step.
There is a term in psychology called "little adult syndrome", which refers to those children who use tolerance to adapt to the environment and close their hearts in exchange for "deliberate maturity."
Some people think that their birth is a debt, that they are self-willed and greedy, which adds burden to their parents.There is no confidence to ask for happiness, just pay off what you owe your parents.
When he grew up, he regarded himself as a burden.Very low self-esteem, cowardice, cowering, without the slightest dignity.
Some people desperately restrained their instincts to please their parents after their parents were crying poor, and they began to rebel after knowing the truth that the family was not so poor.
Think that you are not worthy to walk in the sun, not worthy of warmth and love.
You should never be complacent and happy at this time.
"Sense of giving" and "sense of sacrifice" are the most horrible emotions in family education.
But most parents just don’t understand. Compared to crying poorly and pretending to be poor,Presenting the truth is the best education.
When he was at the same table in elementary school when he was full of Adine Nike, the pair of miscellaneous shoes that he wore would tell him that he was from a normal family.
When his junior high school classmates can sign up for the school’s foreign study tours every holiday, and his passport is stamped with stamps from various countries, and he can only sit at home and watch TV, the chair that locks him will tell him, His family background is average.
Look at this sentence again at this moment:
“你吃这一顿饭,就花了我半天辛苦工作. "
Children who already know the meaning of "poor" and "rich" have long known that this meal is "valuable" to them.
It's just that the wound that was torn by his father himself healed more slowly than ever before.
Are parents unable to tell their children about the financial situation at home?
of course not.
After drawing a half arc, add another half arc to make a perfect "circle".
After saying this sentence, extend this topic to "present the real education."

Although my father's current income is not high, there may be a lot of delicious and fun things we haven't had the opportunity to experience, but no money does not mean inferior people. There will be opportunities in the future. We will work hard to try more possibilities. "
I remember seeing an Iranian movie before, "Little Shoes".
The young Ali was in a difficult family situation and couldn't even afford a pair of decent shoes. The brother and sister went to school at different times and wore a pair of shoes.
Bearing the baptism of classmates' eyes, enduring unspeakable embarrassment and low self-esteem.The two children, day after day, ran in the poverty-stricken years.
But poverty did not crush the family.
He rode the only old bicycle in the family, and smiled and promised to the child:"No matter how difficult it is, you have to work hard. Dad has a way."
Two children, kind and positive.
Poorness is never the weapon that causes the greatest harm to children.
For families who are from ordinary backgrounds like you and me and need to rely on self-struggle to maintain their daily lives, it is admirable to provide children with the best materials within a limited range that can afford them.
Parents are the children's support and spiritual support. Never let the children consume their lives in vain due to the sense of want.

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